19 Comments

  1. Joe Agius
    April 11, 2013 @ 7:19 pm

    Having one of everything is more than enough so you may as well take one of my hands. Anyone wants an ear?

    Reply

    • Tony D
      May 1, 2013 @ 12:53 am

      Who’s that guy with Bob Hoskins and the Pirate?

      Reply

  2. Joe Agius
    April 12, 2013 @ 8:09 pm

    Moshe: “This little meeting is taking far too long.”
    Mordechai:” You haven’t seen the half of it!”

    Reply

  3. Stephen Webster
    April 14, 2013 @ 7:03 pm

    Did I ever tell you, Lord Nelson’s always been a role model for me?

    Reply

  4. Joe Agius
    April 14, 2013 @ 7:54 pm

    Moshe “Depp” Dayan gets a Highly Commended Certificate for his convincing role in “Pirates of the Caballah”

    Reply

  5. Joe Agius
    April 14, 2013 @ 8:42 pm

    The next cheque for injury compensation will cost you an arm and a leg.

    Reply

  6. Shirley Burnett
    April 15, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

    Yul Brynner couldn’t believe no-one had noticed when he won first prize in a ‘Yul Brynner lookalike’ competition.

    Reply

  7. Joe Agius
    April 17, 2013 @ 7:59 pm

    It all started with Moses and his tablets. Now, a few thousand years later, Moshe shows off Israel’s latest breakthrough in IT technology – the iPatch.

    Reply

  8. Joe Agius
    April 17, 2013 @ 8:35 pm

    – Has the loss of your eye affected the relationship between you and your men in any way?
    – Before the accident, they acknowledged my orders with an “Aye, aye sir!” Now it’s just:”One aye, sir!”

    Reply

  9. Joe Agius
    April 17, 2013 @ 8:52 pm

    The main actors of the israeli version of “The good, the bad and the ugly” pose for the cameras hoping to get nominated for an Oscar. But they just got the passover.

    Reply

  10. Martin Krause
    April 24, 2013 @ 4:10 pm

    It wasn’t the first time that day that General Mordechai had shaken hands with a one-eyed monster…

    Reply

  11. Mike Kirkby
    April 25, 2013 @ 8:39 am

    The loser of the ‘Annual Armed Forces Eye Poking Tournament’ final seemed to accept defeat graciously.

    Reply

  12. Joe Agius
    April 25, 2013 @ 8:19 pm

    I’m through with women. You won’t catch me giving them the eye again!

    Reply

  13. Joe Agius
    April 25, 2013 @ 8:22 pm

    That’s the spirit, lads! An eye for an eye, a dude for a dude, a hand for a hand!

    Reply

  14. Joe Agius
    April 26, 2013 @ 9:52 pm

    “And the winner of the Spot The Eye-ball Competition is…”

    Reply

  15. Joe Agius
    April 26, 2013 @ 9:54 pm

    – That’s a nice eye-patch you’re wearing.
    – I got it at Herods!

    Reply

  16. Joe Agius
    April 28, 2013 @ 11:15 am

    Moshe’s eye-patch brought him instant movie stardom. First he played General Chang in Star-of-David Trek VI. Then he reached new Golan Heights in True Grit. His officer role in Valkyrie, was a real bomb. But he’s best remembered for his outstanding performance in Popeye.

    Reply

  17. Joe Agius
    April 29, 2013 @ 5:55 pm

    Olive Oyl persuades Popeye to patch it up with Brutus

    Reply

  18. Liam Davis
    May 7, 2013 @ 2:09 pm

    Aye,aye comrades lets get this over and done with!

    Reply

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