[Competition Closed] MHM 30 – Caption Competition

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Think of something appropriately witty for this picture and leave your caption as a comment below. The best caption will be judged by the editorial team and published in the next issue of Military History Monthly!

 Full Roman Century on the march with infantrymen. horn-blower, standard bearer, centuruion (sergeant major) and equipment. Image shot 2010. Exact date unknown.


  1. Quintus wrestled with the decision of whether or not to tell his embarrassing horn-piping father that he was being swallowed whole by a giant wolf.

  2. An extremely rare photo of one of the founders of the skinhead movement which originated in Londonium in the late 60s BC, about to play a corny piece of Oi music

  3. The entire cohort looked fixedly at the war prisoners about to be executed. The cornicern came forward and said officially: “I’m the top brass here. Any last requests?”

  4. Julius’s friends weren’t sure whether his audition piece of playing a trumpet with a wolf sat on his head, would quite cut it with the judges of ‘Rome’s got talent’.

  5. It became apparent that the costume depatment had messed up when the cast of STOMP asked for something a little more ‘Latin’

  6. Even 2 hours in after the epic opening where the Romans defeat the Germanic Tribe, Russell Crowe’s on screen pet dog still insisted on following him around.

  7. My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Owner to a murdered wolf, husband to a murdered wife. And I will blow my trumpet, in this life or the next.

  8. Take it from cornicern Cassanova, lads! If a wolf-whistle doesn’t work, give her a song and dance about everlasting love! Just staring at her will get you nowhere!

  9. Despite Romulus building a vast empire and leading the army, the mother-wolf still insisted on seeing him off to work everyday.

  10. “Hey, Darius, you were supposed to wear an “ascot” not the bloody mascot” !
    [ Darius was mortified and vowed to never drink again ]

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