[Competition Closed] MHM 30 – Caption Competition

Think of something appropriately witty for this picture and leave your caption as a comment below. The best caption will be judged by the editorial team and published in the next issue of Military History Monthly!

 Full Roman Century on the march with infantrymen. horn-blower, standard bearer, centuruion (sergeant major) and equipment. Image shot 2010. Exact date unknown.

 

Comments

  1. Joe Agius says:

    I’m the wolf whistle blower of Legio XXX Menervous. Buuurp!! Pardon me!

  2. Joe Agius says:

    What are you staring at? Have you never seen a Wearwolf before?

  3. Joe Agius says:

    Leave that siege-tower to me, lads! I have a head for hides!

  4. Joe Agius says:

    And now, for my next number, I’ll just play the first thing that comes to my head….”Fangs for the Memories!”

  5. Jon Newton says:

    Quintus wrestled with the decision of whether or not to tell his embarrassing horn-piping father that he was being swallowed whole by a giant wolf.

  6. Eugene Nicholson says:

    I wish someone would come up with a better invention for a pipe!!

  7. Joe Agius says:

    Come on lads, don’t be shy! Who’ll play Little Red Riding Hood?

  8. Marcus Aurelius Repath says:

    Stand back lads, I’ve got the horn!

  9. Joe Agius says:

    An extremely rare photo of one of the founders of the skinhead movement which originated in Londonium in the late 60s BC, about to play a corny piece of Oi music

  10. Sandus the Alsatian would have done ANYTHING to protect Tullius, his master.

  11. 2nd comment

    Well, boys, all together now :Oh when the Legions/Go marchin’in/MARS I want to be in that number…

  12. Colin Morriss says:

    The lads tried to warn me that if I went to that brothel I would end up with something nasty on my helmet!

  13. Joe Agius says:

    I’m the mascot of Twelfth Fulminata
    Not for me, lorica segmentata
    I prefer my cape Wolf
    And my cornu aloof,
    My phalera and war coat hamata.

  14. Joe Agius says:

    The enemy’s hiding inside those straw huts, Vulpus! Better start huffin’ ‘n’ puffin’!

  15. Joe Agius says:

    The entire cohort looked fixedly at the war prisoners about to be executed. The cornicern came forward and said officially: “I’m the top brass here. Any last requests?”

  16. Jack Humphrey says:

    Julius’s friends weren’t sure whether his audition piece of playing a trumpet with a wolf sat on his head, would quite cut it with the judges of ‘Rome’s got talent’.

  17. Comment 1

    Sandus the Alzatian would have done anything to protect Tullius, his master.

  18. All together now, fellows: Oh when the Legions / Go marchin’ in / Mars I want to be in that number…

  19. Roy Wright says:

    My name is Lupus Galerus Maximus. ( Translated as a soldier with a large wolfskin on my helmet

  20. Joe Agius says:

    My job is to entertain the lads here. They have an especially howlin’ good time when I play the theme from “Dances with Wolves”!

  21. Joe Agius says:

    We’re from the Wolves Supporters Club. So, everytime they score a gaul, we blow our horns !

  22. Joe Agius says:

    -”Sound the lunch break, Wolfy! We’re hungry!”
    -” Yeah, Wolfy! I could eat a horse!”
    -” Hang on lads! Tescolum is just round the corner!”

  23. Mikey says:

    It became apparent that the costume depatment had messed up when the cast of STOMP asked for something a little more ‘Latin’

  24. David Jobson says:

    “…and I thought it was only rats & children that were supposed to follow me”

  25. Joe Agius says:

    “Can’t you recognize a brass-hole when you see one?”

  26. Joe Agius says:

    “Someday I’ll make Road Runner stand still long enough for me to finish my Looney Tune!”!”

  27. Joe Agius says:

    “Don’t shoot me; I’m only the cornu player!”

  28. Joe Agius says:

    “You’ll never catch me bear-headed like some snobby signifers I know!”

  29. Joe Agius says:

    “Miles on Hadrian’s wall – who’s the furest of them all?”

  30. Joe Agius says:

    …and the wolf cried: ” Oh boy!”

  31. Liam says:

    The wolf, huffed and he puffd but couldn’t make a sound.

  32. Joe Agius says:

    “I regret I am unable to start my corncerto until I can get rid of a few teething problems which are still preying on my mind!”

  33. Joe Agius says:

    “Don’t let the enemy scare you, boys! They’re just a bunch of woad-painted punks dyeing to get into battle!”

  34. Joe Agius says:

    Discipline is what the Roman Army’s all about. If anyone of these lads misbehaves, I blow my top!

  35. Stephen Nicklin says:

    Right lads I’ll give the fox a head start then blow the horn to start the hunt

  36. Mike Kirkby says:

    Even 2 hours in after the epic opening where the Romans defeat the Germanic Tribe, Russell Crowe’s on screen pet dog still insisted on following him around.

  37. Mike Kirkby says:

    My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Owner to a murdered wolf, husband to a murdered wife. And I will blow my trumpet, in this life or the next.

  38. Cíara Lamptey says:

    I am a wolf. Bring yer bravest Knights.

  39. Joe Agius says:

    I could have danced with Kevin Costner and become a movie-star but I just blew it!

  40. Joe Agius says:

    Just because I wouldn’t play along, the family thinks of me as the black sheep dressed in wolf’s clothing.

  41. Joe Agius says:

    Take it from cornicern Cassanova, lads! If a wolf-whistle doesn’t work, give her a song and dance about everlasting love! Just staring at her will get you nowhere!

  42. Colin Morriss says:

    Everyone else knew it but couldn’t tell him, faux wolf hats are so last year.

  43. Joe Agius says:

    We’re the 1812th Wolf Gang Armoured Gladius Hazards famous for our pilum throwing precision and fur play.

  44. Joe Agius says:

    These cold sabine wenches are just a bunch of sour grapes! Definitely not worth all the song and dance!

  45. Joe Agius says:

    Next time I have a legionary for lunch, I’ll make him take off his helmet first!

  46. Mike Kirkby says:

    Despite Romulus building a vast empire and leading the army, the mother-wolf still insisted on seeing him off to work everyday.

  47. Khawaja Muzaffar says:

    We are the Boots on the Ground

  48. Joe Agius says:

    I’m doing a dress rehearsal of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart’s corncerto in A(sia) Minor. Hope you have a howlin’ good time!

  49. Joe Agius says:

    Arminius has promised us a taste of Teutoburg Forest gateau if I play for him an excerpt from Wolfgang’s 1812.

  50. Joe Agius says:

    I really blew it this time, lads! I thought it was a costume ball!

  51. Joe Agius says:

    Every now and then I like to sink my fangs into a horn on the sod!

  52. Joe Agius says:

    If a wolf wanted to have a taste of your galea, you’d be very cornicerned too!

  53. Phil Coker says:

    ‘….yes I know Caesar is a good general, but he’s always blowing his own trumpet!’

  54. Joe Agius says:

    If we don’t beat the Brits today, I’ll eat his hat!

  55. Joe Agius says:

    As soon as my wife sees me coming, she shuts the door in my face, the bloody pig!

  56. Joe Agius says:

    All we have to do is jeer at the enemy and call them “chicken” and Wolfy here, tears them apart for us!

  57. Joe Agius says:

    With every cornu, you get 2 free torques and a wolfskin cape until packs last!

  58. Andrew Jackson says:

    “We will exterminate, exterminate, exterminate”

  59. Tim McNamara says:

    “Hey, Darius, you were supposed to wear an “ascot” not the bloody mascot” !
    [ Darius was mortified and vowed to never drink again ]

  60. Nigel Cocking says:

    Tally ho. Eyes peeled people, those foxes get more cunning with each hunt.

  61. Joe Agius says:

    I use an aggressive “Head & Shoulders” to cure my dandruff problem.

  62. Joe Agius says:

    This fancy headgear isn’t really mine, you know. He’s just a loan wolf.

  63. Joe Agius says:

    I ‘m this shithead’s bodyguard. That’s why I’m covering his ass!

  64. Jeff B says:

    Maximus still had a little work to do before his “Marching Band” concept caught on…

  65. chris says:

    Nobody does anything till I blow